Sitting On My Throne Of Cotton-Candy Clouds!

I’m losing patience…

This post could probably be one of the most insensitive ones I’ve written, or simply an honest one resulting from my running-out-of-patience and unwillingness to give excuses to others…

So here’s another boring overdue analysis; and to facilitate the writing and dull-elaborating process I’d be using my uninteresting self as a to-be-repeated-frequently example; it’s worth mentioning however that I’m not necessarily talking about myself! (huh?)

So here we go, starting off easy;

When I’m being all positive, I attract all that is good and positive to come to me. I become a happier person. It’s as if the realization of what good I have, coupled with my positive attitude, makes me amplify whatever more good that comes my way and minimize whatever bad bits that I bump into.

When I’m grumpy/negative, all negative charges gather around me and stick with super glue. Bad things start to come out of nowhere to make me even grumpier. The grumpiness or depression takes no notice of whatever good that could come out of anything, and all energy is focused on the negative things that come along, no matter how tiny they could be.

When I’m happy, as radiant as I can be; all smiles and warm rays of happiness, I become highly provocative to others who are not as happy, or who have too much trouble, or who simply persist to stay unhappy and cynical. I become an outcast, an alien, as the majority is in fact depressed. I also could become a blessing, as some few individuals need that “bright sun” that is my smile to shine and push away those dark clouds.

When I’m grumpy, I surprisingly fit in just fine with others. People seem to relate to my grumpiness and “depression”. I’m perceived as one of them. I become dimmed, heavier, sick, impatient and restless yet unwilling to go anywhere. However, I am also condemned for all of it; for how dare I be grumpy around others? They certainly do not need that!

Anyhow, my point is it’s all about attitude. I could be SAD and still be capable of smiling to myself and others, still capable of keeping a positive attitude, no matter how drained my strength is to keep it. And it’s not cause I care enough to “not trouble others with my sorrows”… hell no… I can trouble others with my “sorrows” all I want if I feel like it (hmm…really?); I mean they might think they’re doing the same thing sometimes and I rarely ever have a problem with it cause I genuinely care (hmm.. depends on who they are). However, I’ll keep that positive attitude for MY sake, to snap out of sadness, to feel better, to keep reassuring myself that better things will come my way, and basically out of my belief that if I expect good things to happen they will, and if I expect bad things to happen they wont disappoint me.

Of course words are so freaking easy, yeah I know! I’m not saying my so called theories are valid all the time; there are other things to be put in consideration. Nonetheless, they still make perfect sense in most cases. I personally cannot even define my current state of mind; surely I am not in distress but I… still can’t define it and maybe I shouldn’t bother so much with pointless definitions and futile analyses, all I know now is that if I believe in good things, the associated vibes will surely help out. And all I’m saying is that people should try that every once in a while (if they can afford it, but who’s to automatically rule out that possibility?)

I know it’s cruel and insensitive to just say that but I’m seriously sick of sulky grouchy faces with closed up spirits and very very little faith! I know I’m in no place to sit back and judge (and btw sweety I swear I don’t mean you, umm.. assuming you know who you are :/ ), but hey… it’s not like I’m all jumping up and down goofily happy and shit… I understand alright… I just hate it when people refuse to try to feel good, I hate it when they give up so freakin easily, and I hate it when they have no faith, I hate it when they don’t work for it, and I hate it when they don’t notice the goodness they’re blessed with! I hate it when people are ungrateful and I hate it when they act like they’re the only desperately unhappy people on the face of the planet (even if they do so unconsciously). ALL of it is okay and even allowed sometimes just as long as it’s not a permanent state of being, but when it exceeds a certain time limit, it becomes absurd.

Yes, I’m judging them! I dislike this sort of attitude and I believe that they can control a huge part of it if they want to! I’m not saying people can change their misfortunes, I’m saying they should have a little faith that things COULD change for the better, and if they cannot have that faith… then I suggest they go ahead and end their lives – less talk, more action – cause there’s no point in living when you have absolutely no hope for a better way to live, ONLY when I reached that state it crossed my mind to end my life… and ONLY cause I realized that this is so easy – such an easy way out with unpleasant consequences – and that I owe it to myself and to others to do some damn effort did I change my mind though I had little faith at the time.

So just cause most of you people out there are drowned in sad shit, it doesn’t mean you HAVE to walk around like zombies all the time… ALL THE TIME! And just cause some people are NOT walking like zombies and who try to look at the Brightside of things, it doesn’t mean THEY are trouble free! It’s not like that alright! Nothing is easy; you work for it, so freaking work for it and believe in what you’re working for.

Damn it, I’m not saying people should force themselves to be happy, I’m just saying try and smile every once in a while, maybe JUST MAYBE that seemingly ugly face of the world will smile right back at you!

Now I’m just pissed!

Explore posts in the same categories: Musings, Ranting

Tags: Angry, Facts, Takes

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